First Time, Last Time

"Does that mean I cannot play with her again; will she come back?"

This is a question posed by Noradila Majlha Azman, the best friend of murdered girl Nurin Jazlin Jazimin. After I saw this quote, strong emotions kicked in; feelings even I cannot distinguish. Is it grief? Perhaps it is anger? Maybe insecure?

Stories on the murder of eight-year-old Nurin has grabbed the front page of newspapers nationwide. It has even been on the prime-time news for days, if not weeks.

It all started on August 20, 2007 when Nurin was reported missing after going to pasar malam
alone to buy some keropok lekor. Soon after she was reported missing, an extensive search for little Nurin began. Efforts to find Nurin included distributing pamphlets to the public and putting up a large banner on tollgates in the vicinity where she went missing. Then, there was a RM18,000 reward put up for whoever came up with information regarding the whereabouts of Nurin.

On September 17, 2007, the remains of a little girl was found in a bag in Petaling Jaya. The body was naked and bruised. According to forensic reports, there were bruise marks on her neck; with cucumber and brinjal inserted into her private parts.

When the DNA results came out, stating that it matches the DNA of Nurin, the whole nation was shocked.

"They(reporters) told me that police said the DNA matches, but that body
wasn't my daughter's. I know my own daughter very well, and it's impossible
for that(the body) to be my daughter."

This was the initial response by the father of Nurin, Jazimin Abdul Jalil when questioned by reporters about the DNA results. Two days later, he accepted that the body was indeed her daughter's, putting an end to speculation as to who the remains belong to.

The initial response by the father clearly shows the trauma he faced, going into the state of denial. It is unimaginable, the pain of losing someone dear, especially knowing the fact that he/she was treated badly before he/she died.

The father said that that was the first time they let her out on her own, but unfortunately, it turned up to be the last as well.

An Honest Voice

The gunfire around us makes it hard to hear....

But the human voice is different from other sounds....

lt can be heard - lt can be heard over...

Over noises that bury everything else.

Even... Even... Even when it's not shouting.... Shouting ...

Even when it... Even if it's just a whisper....

Even the lowest whisper can be heard over armies...

When... When...


When it's telling the truth.



*Scene from The Interpreter*

Change is Nature; and Future!

Django: The world we live in belongs to the enemy, we must live carefully. We look out for our own kind, Remy. When all is said and done, we’re all we’ve got.

[Django starts to walk away]

Remy: [Defiantly] No. Dad, I don’t believe it. You’re telling me that the future is - can only be - more of this?

Django: This is the way things are; you can’t change nature.

Remy: Change is nature, Dad - the part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide.

Django: [Remy turns to leave] Where are you going?

Remy: With luck, forward.

*Scene from Ratatouille*

Morality : Self-deception

What is morally right? What is morally wrong?
Morality is based on the norms of society( which mostly influenced by beliefs and traditions )
And without us noticing, the norms slowly changed as time passes.

To support my allegation, this is an example:

A son's duty is to take care of their parents when they're old;
And anyone who didn't take care of their parents( with this, I am referring to sending parents to old folks' home ) is considered as not filial and irresponsible et cetera.
This is very true in the past according to the norms of society, where parents will stay with their son( usually the eldest in the family ) and their son will take care of them.


However, in the society today, sending parents to old folks' home is no longer a big issue( or at least not as big )
The number of old folks' home throughout the nation is on the rise while the society justified it with higher living costs, busy with work, inconvenience and so much more.
Thus, it has now become an acceptable form of actions for sons( morally) to send their parents to old folks' home( I'm not trying to say if this is an appropriate thing to do, but instead I'm trying to point out how people's sense of morality has changed over time )


For some people, morality refers to motives(intentions) rather than the consquences of one's actions.
So, for these people, as long as their intentions are good, the consequences don't matter anymore.
And this time, I'd use another example to show what is wrong with these perceptions.

I'm sure all of you have read the short story "Looking for a Rain God".
The people of ancient times have believed that sacrificing human( usually a child or woman ) to the god so that their village and people would be safe( from natural disasters and epidemics ).
While their motives are to save thousands of lives;
Does that mean that what they did is morally right?
Will that justify their actions?
At that particular time/era, it is and it will! ( With this example, one issue which can also be discussed would be how blindly following traditions can be wrong although there's a saying that if it has been practised for so long, then it can't be wrong. Anyway, I'd leave that issue for later and get back to my point )


And there are also people who claimed that the outcome of one's action is what counts, regardless of one's intention.
If one's intention is bad, does it matter? Even if the outcome is good, it doesn't.(This is what people would term as hypocrisy)


Therefore, I've come to this conclusion that morality is actually a kind of self-deception.
A sense of moral is just something people use to justify their acts; sometimes freeing them from guilt.

Do you agree?

They aren't saints!

Well, I've came across this blog, http://rateyourstudents.blogspot.com/ yesterday and out of curiosity, I checked it out( that's a catchy title, no?)

It is actually a place where college lecturers/professors rant about their students and how frustrating it is to teach (It is exactly what we students do, just the other way around)
Reading their posts allowed me to see things from the other side; the tutors' point of view.

I'm sure at some point of our lives, we have criticized/condemned about a certain teacher (have to admit, I did that all the time); complained about their ways of teaching, them giving too 'much' homework etc...

But how many of us actually 'tried' to see from their perspective? ( I mean really taking some time off and sincerely putting yourself in their shoes instead of just saying "I tried")

There are paperwork, homework-checking, co-curricular activities, setting up exam papers(for both public and school exams) and not to forget, marking them. Sometimes, they have to attend courses on the new marking scheme and stuff too.

Then there are those meetings with the unruly superior(the higher-ups) and also with mean parents who plays the blame game. Many parents think that it's the responsibilities of the teachers if anything goes wrong while in reality, children only spend certain hours in school and MOSTLY at home. Those ignorant parents should realize that teachers only serve as a guide, and it is in actuality the parents' duty to teach their children rights from wrongs; and to instill moral values in them. Parents are the one who plays a crucial role to determine that their children would grow up to be wise men.

Some parents' mindset of 'those who can't do, *teach*' only made it worse because they already presumed that teachers are not 'smart' enough or good enough to teach their child( a factor contributing to the blaming game and also discourage the co-operation between parents-teachers)

With so much pressure of getting their job done with insufficient time ( that includes finishing the syllabus) and also uncooperative parents(higher-ups too) could be too much to bear.
The public view of teaching as a 'low-class' profession and their lack of respect for teachers is very demoralising as well.

While the fact that some teachers are not taking their job seriously cannot be denied, most of them have tried their best although the best might not be good enough( there are similarities between being a teacher and being a parent in a sense)

It's all trial and error in parenting. And it is the same trial and error principle used by teachers for teaching. After all, you wouldn't know what actually works before you try it, right? So, should the parents be so hard on the teachers who has been trying so hard, giving their everything when they made some minor mistakes? They are only human, just like you and me....

And one cannot expect teachers to sacrifice it all on one student (unlike in movies where teachers would even quit their job and sacrifice everything they have for the sake of the students)
They also got their own family to support and mouth to feed!
So, that kind of expectations might be rather selfish, ain't it?
It is not like they don't care about their students, but teaching some might prove to be quite a challenge (what's more with them being stubborn and unappreciative)

Instead of being judgmental, parents should try to be more involved in the education of their children and offer their support as well as cooperation to the teachers. They could also give their opinions and ideas on how certain things can be improved. There won't be any good done by playing the blame game but by working together, so much can be done(in the positive light). And it's going to benefit everyone; parents, teachers and students

I'm no Superman!

Hitting rock bottom...
Doubts all over....
Just one of the days of self-analyzing / self-criticising.
I am my best/worst critic ( partly because I don't really care what other people say)
And yeah, I'm very harsh on myself ( can't censor my own thoughts right!!?)
I've always been that confident( if not over-confident) person, to the point that some might think that nothing could/would bring me down.
But today's an exception;
I've thoughts that I'm not being good enough;
That I have a lot of flaws.

Before and during writing this post, I thought it's going to be a very long post, considering that I am really down today...
But I'm even better than I could ever imagine;
I'm already back on both my legs, standing tall !
Haha, this post might seem like a bulls*** to you, but who cares?
It helped me to get over my 'depression'


Well, besides this post,I guess I have to thank a friend for the advice 'never think you don't deserve something after you've already put in the effort' which led me to realizing the simple truth, which is:

I'm no Superman

By knowing and accepting this simple truth, I guess I've gotten
over the era of Great Depression....
Hooray!

Daemon!?

Monthly Leakage

The current 'hot' issue is the leakage in Batu Gajah!!?
Well, somehow, the leakage in Batu Gajah has caused problem to those as far as Jasin and Kinabatangan( wow, that ain't leakage, should be a flood instead =/ )

For those of you in the dark about what I'm talking about, let me summarize it for you.

It starts with two MPs saying:
"Mana ada bocor? Batu Gajah bocor tiap-tiap bulan juga.(Where got leak? Batu Gajah leaks monthly too)"

And that statement caused a furore...(The rakyat; both men and women, demanded an apology from the MPs involved)

In defence, the person(s) involved said:
"What I meant by Batu Gajah leaks every month is urinating. It didn't have anything to do with women's kitar haid."

And that sparked even greater uproar from the rakyat...( Do you think that we're that dim-witted to believe your excuse??!)

And now, he told the media:
"I didn't say anything about that. The media exaggerated it.(Referring to the first statement)
So, Why do I have to apologize?"


The way I see it:

A primary school student forgot/lazy to do his homework.(First statement that got him in trouble)

Then, he didn't pass up his homework. When the teacher realized and asked him about it, he gave this excuse:
"Teacher, it's not my fault!! My dog ate my homework."
(Second statement where he was giving the lame excuse, expecting the rakyat to believe it. The teacher is the rakyat in the way I see it.)

The teacher didn't believe him, of course; and was infuriated.
Sensing himself in trouble now, the student tried to deny everything and changing the story:
"Teacher, I already passed up my homework. Maybe when Ahmad carried it to the teacher's room, he dropped it. It's not my fault."
(Third statement referred to his denial, blaming the media who made up the whole story. In the way I see it, Ahmad is the media.)

Well, the whole point of me writing this is not to talk about gender equality, but responsibility.
Both the MPs in the story actually have created quite a reputation for themselves prior to this; also with their insensitive and irresponsible remarks. (Strangely, no actions have been taken against them)
And in this story, once again they are free from responsibility because the Batu Gajah MP filed a complaint a day after the remark is made( because the rules/system stated that the report must be made within three or four hours after the statement itself)
And while writing this, it reminded me of the Klang MPs( building big houses without approval, and not to forget, having the money to build it with low monthly-salary) issue and the close one eye issue.
What happened to those people involved? Case closed? No actions taken?

The MPs are considered the representatives of the rakyat and therefore, have to show good example to the rakyat. Leading by example, right? And one good example they can show is admitting their mistakes and taking up responsibilities for their actions/words. Everyone make mistakes; I'm sure the rakyat understands that, too. If only the MPs were to apologize for what they said and ready to face the consequences, I'm positive the rakyat would just forgive them and give them another chance.(And maybe even compliment them for admitting their mistakes, taking up responsibilities like an adult instead of acting like a primary school student)
However, that is not what the MPs did. They gave excuses and even denying the facts to protect themselves(A selfish act indeed)

Malaysia is a great nation, and it is flourishing.
Let's just hope that the prosperity of our nation will not be held back by few irresponsible people.
As the malay saying goes, 'kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga'

And to all Malaysians, it is us who choose the MPs. So, take hints of all that is happening and choose the individuals that are really qualified and you have faith in to represent; to lead us, the rakyat.

My Excuse

Yea, you guessed it right!
I'm just too lazy to write, which explains why I post the personality test results instead.
However, if you really want to hear my excuse, here you go :-

I just can't put my thoughts into words.
There are a lot of thinking going in my mind, but somehow it's all jumbled up and it seemed as if there's no right way to write it.
I guess that's what some people call 'writer's block';
Yet from what I know, 'writer's block' is a condition where you just can't think of what to write although you can actually write if you got any idea;
Mine's the opposite;
While I got a lot of ideas, I can't write it down.
So what do you call this?

Until I've found a way to turn my ideas into words, I guess you'd see a lot more of test results being posted instead.

My True Colour

Lee , your true color is Black!

Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

My personality!!?

Big Thinkers


The four aspects that make up this personality type are:




Summary of Big Thinkers

Outspoken, ingenious and bored by routine
Look for opportunities and enjoy tackling problems head-on
Think of themselves as talkative, curious and self-sufficient
May neglect the routine work required to make their plans successful


More about Big Thinkers

Big Thinkers are always looking for the next big idea or opportunity. They're adept at spotting trends and thinking on their feet. Big Thinkers like to jump in and find innovative solutions to complex problems and are good at developing strategies for the future.


In the UK, Big Thinkers are most likely to book a holiday at short notice, according to a nationwide survey.


Big Thinkers are usually curious, logical and energetic. This chatty group enjoys a good debate and asserting their opinions. Sometimes others may find the way they express their ideas too abrupt or challenging.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Big Thinkers may be rude, critical of others or rebellious. Under extreme stress, Big Thinkers can become preoccupied with unimportant details and lose sight of the 'big picture'.

Big Thinkers may ignore important details in their plans and overlook the impact their ideas have on the people around them.

Big Thinker Careers :

The entrepreneurial spirit of the Big Thinkers often leads them to seek new challenges; this is often more important to them than working in a particular field or a specific career.

The Road Taken

Everyone my age( that I know of ) is already in university/college; or going in soon.
Taking up courses of interest in various fields.
Each chasing after their dreams; their desires; their ambitions.
The path that they have chosen, the one presumed to be the right one;
The most suitable one...
Yet, one can only see so far in the path they chose.
And what lies beyond that is a mystery, known not by any.
It is for us to seek it out on our own, a lifetime's adventure.
Nothing can assure us of success.
It is up to us to reach out for it;
Through continuous process of self-improvement and self-enrichment.
Yet at times, we might look back and think " What if I took that path;
Would my life be better than what it is right now"?
There's nothing wrong of having such thoughts, just that one have to understand that at the particular time when they made their decisions, it is for the best( although that might not be the case)
Life can only be lived once, and it is only special because of the choices we make; the mistakes we make.
So, embrace it and be proud of it.
A quote from a friend of mine,

Live with no excuse; Love with no regret

Quotable

Scholes's return was very meaningful too, although can someone tell me why the ginger genius tackles like a blindfolded kung fu trainee in heavy fog?

Read this on bbc website and found it rather(very) funny.

In the future, I guess I'd be putting more quotes here.

A new beginning

If you've made mistakes when writing, you can just erase it off or even tear the whole page and rewrite in a new page.
That is for writing; but what about real life?
Making mistakes are part of growing up.
What if you've done a lot of mistakes before and it's only now that you realize it?
Some would say the hardest yet most important thing to do is to forgive yourself.
Well, even if you've forgiven yourself for what you did and changed for the better, you can't change people's perception of you (can't blame them for that, though)
Life isn't writing in a page of a book where you can tear off the page if you made mistakes and start over again in a new page (where people won't know the mistakes you've made)
You're not the same person you were back then, but people would still have the impression of the 'old' you and remember the mistakes you did.
Turned over a new leaf, but will they ever forgive you for your foolishness back then?
And see you as the person you are now instead of who you were?
It is not that simple, but what you can do is to learn and try not to repeat the same mistakes again;
And hope that one day, the people will realize you've changed and see you as who you are instead of who you were

Venturing

One thing I've learnt recently, that is venturing out of my 'comfort zone' and experience new things(whether I like it or not)
And only after I've been there; "saw, heard, tasted, smelled and felt" should I decide whether I want to keep it or lose it
And blogging would be an 'experience'
So, here I go!!!